Opinions

I find it hard allowing other people to have an opinion on me that I neither agree with or can control.  I know, right?  I'm sharing all my hopes and fears with the world, what do I expect?  What's more I want to be successful at something that, just by definition of me doing it, will arouse opinions from others.

If I do go on to be a successful writer, even if I'm the best writer ever, I'll have people that won't like what I write and will form an opinion on it, whether I like it or not and some of those opinions are going to be nasty.  

I don't do well with criticism, I don't do too well with praise either, if I'm honest.  I reckon I can put in the hard craft to create a piece of work that I'm proud of and willing to share but I think taking criticism from others when it's the finished polished article is what I'll find difficult.  Hopefully by then I'll be paid loads of cash and it won't matter but what if I'm not paid a lot and I still get criticism?

I'm in between having made the decision to go for it and having made it, criticism is coming, if I can take on the constructive criticism and ignore the negative nasty comments for long enough then I'll be at stage where it won't matter.

This fear of criticism has prevented me from sharing stuff with others before.  On my other blog, the satirical news blog, I've had loads of stories that I've written but just never shared through fear of someone saying something that I can't control. Their opinion is slightly skewed and is not taking everything into consideration.

The trouble is anyone can have an opinion on anything, even if you haven't had all the facts.  Whose got an opinion on how the universe was created?  Most of us have, were you there? Oh....

People think that having a majority in a debate makes them right.  I don't care if I'm in the only one that holds a particular opinion, likes a particular film, believes a particular theory it's still my opinion and what is right is that we all get the chance to have our own opinions, whether they be right or wrong.

Have your opinion on me, I might find it hard to take at first but eventually I'll get over it.

Feelings

Sometimes it's hard to put into words how you feel, I am going to try.  It's long.

First off I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me.  I want to be treated like a human being just like everyone else.

Neither do I want anyone to think that, after my previous post, I'm on some crusade against capitalism.  There's nothing wrong with capitalism, there's nothing wrong with socialism but either of them in their extremes are bad.

I feel that I, no-one else, just me, has been hypnotised (I can't think of a better word) into thinking I need possessions in my life to make it better.  I feel that, when I'm in a shop looking at products that by owning those products my life will somehow be enhanced.

This conditioning has lead me to own a number of pieces of crap that I don't need.  I have Playstation games that are years old that I haven't even opened.  How do I get enjoyment out of something that I don't even use?  

If you asked me to list all those books, from my previous post, that I've never read then I'd have trouble.  Do I miss them?  No.  When I'm holding them thinking "should I get rid of this?" I couldn't possibly give it away or even sell it.

Making this break was easy, throwing away stuff that I didn't need and couldn't fit into my parents garage wasn't easy but I managed it.  That's where the bravery comes in, not sitting in Barcelona living on the poverty line trying to find work, that's easy.

People have commended me for showing guts, I don't think I have, this is the easy part.  Coming back to the UK, getting a job, earning money and trying not to spend it all on shit I don't need, that's the hard part.  If I manage that then I have guts.

I spoke to my family, at last, over the weekend on FaceTime.  I didn't realise I could otherwise I would have don't it ages ago.  I spoke to my sister, her boyfriend and their kids on Saturday and then my parents on Monday.

We spoke about the obvious.  How am I surviving and when am I coming home.  I looked at my nephew and told him that I love him very much.  I do wonder if he's thinking "why then did you run off to Barcelona?  If you loved me that much surely you would have stayed to play with me?"  

I don't know if he thinks that but it's logical.  Him and his sister mean the world to me, I would die for them so leaving the UK and choosing not to see them on months on end doesn't make sense.

I don't think my brain works like a normal person's.  I've thought this for a while, maybe 15, 20 years, maybe a little bit less, maybe 10.

My heart desires things that I think I need, this is a deep feeling inside my head, kind of like a trauma that has effected me and I buy stuff to make up for it.  My childhood was great, my sister turned out fine, it's just me that's broken.

I have a chemical imbalance in my brain and despite numerous visits to my GP I can't get a definitive diagnosis of this.  I had counselling at the turn of the year and didn't do much, I had more counselling in the spring and again this did nothing.  The second counsellor gave me a half diagnosis that I'm not depressed but others have told me that I definitely am.

I'm definitely stressed, that's for sure and repeatedly going to my GP trying to use the right words to help me get a diagnosis doesn't help.  I might as well bang my head up against a brick wall.

Anyone that is a friend on Facebook will know how political I am.  I'm forever sharing left-wing propaganda because I feel there is an injustice in the world, especially in British politics.  Remember that MP who had to pay back that money because he used it having his moat cleaned, he's just been made a Lord.  Can anyone else see the problem?

Take a look at ISIS, the "Islamic" extremists.  There is a deep left-wing belief that this group was created by Israel, secretly.  The point being that these people would raise tensions in the Middle East in the name of Islam and the world would be in uproar calling for war against Muslims.

On one of the numerous Facebook groups I read one female Muslim was talking about what Afghanistan was like in the 1970s.  She posted a picture and it was unrecognisable.  It looked like a Islamic version of the western world.  I need to do more research on this but her point was that the Afghanistan as we know it today is an American creation going along the same theme seen above.

On Wednesday two U.S. journalists were gunned down while live on air by a former colleague.  I read on the BBC that this guy was raised as a Jehovah Witness.  Why is it that if this guy had been a Muslim he'd have been regarded as a terrorist?

I was debating with former Conservative MP Louise Mensch on Friday evening and she said that most extreme Muslims are "Wahhabbis".  I know, I'm envisaging the same Elmer Fudd Photoshopped tie-in "I'm hunting Wahhabbis" that you are.  Another thing to research before jumping to conclusions.

I've got friends who think we should carpet bomb the whole of the Middle East.  What about the people that live there that are peaceful?  Let alone all the history, civilisation was born in the Middle East.  A carpet bombing of Syria for example would completely destroy Damascus, the world's oldest city.

I try and debate the point that there are 1.6billion Muslims in this world and that less than half a percent, about 8 million of them are terrorists.  That estimate seems a bit high so I googled it.  Just for shits and giggles.  

The first link was from a Christian website that carries an article about a woman who believes that "15-25% of the world's Muslims are terrorist".  To be fair to the website their article is balanced and they provide a counter argument from another source.

15-25% of the world's Muslims is 240m to 400m.  If either figure was correct we'd be dead already.  That's enough people and enough fire power to wipe us all out.  I reckon my estimate of about 8 million is more accurate and I reckon before America rocked up with their military bases the percentage was lower.

I'd be pissed off if someone put a military base in my country and strutted around like they owned the place and had the audacity to negotiate and decide whether my country could have nuclear weapons.

Relax, I'm not converting to Islam, I couldn't give up bacon.  I'm trying to give you an insight into how I find it hard to cope with the injustices of this world.  I can't let it go when I see someone who doesn't have the right of reply made a scapegoat by warmongering right-wing propaganda.  There's money to be made out of being anti-Islamic.

My problems are deep and aren't going to be fixed by trying the same things over and over again.  What's that quote about insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?

My problems aren't going to be fixed by living on the poverty line in Barcelona either but it is a break from the norm.

When I first came here I had to be badgered into blogging, now look, what is it, four articles a week? The script I've been writing for about three years is finished (still looking for readers and constructive criticism), another book has began to be written.  I've written the synopsis, I know what happens from beginning to end, the story is there, I just need words on the page.

My blog carries adverts for which I get paid.  It's nowhere near sustainable but it is slowly improving.  In July I made .41p, in August I think there was two separate days where I almost made that amount on each of those days alone.

Last weekend I was on about .85p for the month and was wondering if I could get it up to £1 by this coming Monday, the 31st.  I looked on Tuesday evening after I posted that day's blog and it was on £1.17 for the month.  Not totally sure how it manages to make that massive leap, perhaps for the first time in the history of the Internet someone clicked on one of those adverts that offers laser eye surgery.

If I can continue to blog, add people who read it and by the looks of things I can then hopefully I'll pick up enough people that this will give me and income.  The blog is just based on stuff that I think, nothing specific, you've got to come on here with an open mind and be willing to let me rant whilst understanding that I still realise that I know that what I say and think is not taken as truth.  My opinion counts as nothing if no-one else agrees, other than the fact that it's my opinion to which I'm entitled.  I also recognise that others are entitled to their opinions, there's a Voltaire quote in this....

I'm still thinking that staying here for one more month is the answer.  Me and the landlady have discussed the rent issue and I've asked I can stay here for one more month rent free and if I manage to pick up work I'll back date my rent.  I think she's accepted it.

Three o'clock yesterday morning he was on the phone, loudly.  I don't know if he knows I can here him and it prevents me from getting some sleep, or wakes me up.  Who was he ringing at that time anyway, late night talk radio stations talking about UFOs? The kids are often up until that time, also loudly.  It's only because I'm a night owl that it doesn't bother me but what if it did?  They don't even bother to check if I care or try and calm the situation down.  The kids enter my room when I'm not here as well.  I had a street map that was ripped and on the floor when I came home yesterday.

This flat is going to be extremely hard to rent.  It's definitely illegal and along with the unsociable noise they're going to find it difficult to get someone as stupid as me to live here.  They may as well take a punt on giving me one more month.

I'm one step closer to getting my NIE number.  The first hostel I staying in needs a photographer.  I told him I would do it for free if he could "offer" me a job.  He's sorted it and now I'm going to be arranging my appointment.  Get that done and then who knows.  Even if I have to return to the UK I'll be closer to getting something.

Where is my life going?

I wrote this before I came out here in May.

I've edited it a bit but I've tried to keep it as I originally wrote it as much as possible.

I should have gone to university.  I was too keen to join the work force to buy things for myself.  I should have gone to university, this would have given me time away from home and more importantly my parents whom I love dearly, the last two months has proved that to me.  However you need to make that break away from your family as early as possible.

Obviously they're the people that you love the most and they'll always be there for you but you need to get out and discover, they'll still be there when you get back so just go!

It's not their fault, it's no-ones fault.  I'm the offspring of capitalism, I want things.  I buy books that I never read just because they look nice, I want the latest gadgets and a large collection of Playstation games.

I've lived this existence since I left school, 16 years.

So why am I not happy?

I stayed at home, got a job as quickly as possible so that I could lavish myself with fine things because that's what I thought I should be doing but when I look around at others I see that other people live with very little and yet are happy.

I'm not sure what happiness is but I do have a yearning to travel.

Two things have previously prevented me from doing this, one being that I have too many possessions, how ironic is that, the stuff I've been working so hard to buy is now the very thing possibly preventing me from being happy.

And the second thing is fear.  I'm safe at the moment, I have a steady job, that's dead end and going nowhere but it is safe.

If I leave it all to go travelling will it all go tits up and end in tears? Sorry about the double cliché.

On top of that what if playing it safe is actually the risk? What if I never make that break and then in 20 years time it's too late?

For that reason I've decided to make that break and try for happiness.

At first I was thinking that I'm giving myself some options, I was either going to go and volunteer, probably in India or going and live dirt cheap somewhere in the EU, probably Barcelona, a city that I've loved since I first visited in 1996.  I'm hoping that this break away from my comfortable lifestyle will give me a new perspective.

In the end I chose Barcelona.  I'm on the train now writing this.

I plan to blog whilst away so stay tuned.

When's it going to be my turn?

Remember that Irish bar I told you that I nearly got a job in last week?  I went back on Friday and the boss was showing a new guy around, he looked English.  This was 48 hours after telling me that they weren't hiring for another month.  I don't know if they already had that guy lined up, I mean 48 hours is a quick turn around for a job, isn't it? I'm going back in there today or tomorrow to ask the guy what is happening.

In my last blog I spoke about an opportunity that if it works will be amazing and possibly beyond my wildest dreams.  Reporting on FC Barcelona.  I may also be doing pitchside photography of the matches.  That would be ideal because I should have no problem selling these pictures on to agencies/newspapers.

Yesterday the former player Pedro who left last week to join Chelsea returned to Barcelona to "say goodbye" to team mates, fans and the media.  Had I have known I would have tried to go. I'm not sure if they would have managed to sort my press accreditation in time but I would have liked to have tried.  All the players turned up, had I gone I could have probably made enough money to have a comfortable life here for a few months.  

Newspapers prefer working direct with the photographer rather than an agency as they can make specific requests.  I have my copy of the Freelance Photographers Handbook with me so if the press accreditation gets sorted for this Saturday's home game against Malaga and I can take pictures I'll be emailing every British based newspaper this week asking if they would need pictures and if they have any specific requests.

There's pros and cons to it though, if I sell pictures through an agency then I can make money every time they sell it to another publication or website.  If I build up a relationship with a single publication they'll guarantee payment for the pictures I provide, however if I wait it out and get lucky enough to get the best picture they all want then jackpot as it will always continue to be used and sold on.  I think most photographers work like this.  When you see a big story everyone seems to carry the same picture if it's the ideal picture for the story.  If it is the ideal picture then it wouldn't do it just to just be stuck on one publication.

Imagine being lucky enough to get the best picture of the winning goal and then sending it off in time to make a few of the early editions?  If I did that it would give me enough money to live here for a few months, I'd live cheaply obviously so it should last quite a while.

It wouldn't need to end there either.  There are magazines, try the postcards route again, maybe get them in a few shops.  A few weeks ago I might have been accused of being a fantasist for thinking this is a possibility but it could soon be a reality.

I wrote a match report for Sunday's game away at Bilbao, it's here if anyone wants to read it - http://www.insidespanishfootball.com/160813/athletic-bilbao-0-1-barcelona-barcelona-avenge-spanish-super-cup-defeat/

There's also a bit of a call for photo journalists, everyone sadly has a camera these days so it's easy to snap a story.  If you're in the right place at the right time even someone with a camera phone can make a bit of money.  As much as we celebrate the leap in technology it makes it increasingly harder for a professional photographer to make it. Yet this is a field I'm looking to move into?  Now do people understand why I chose football.

However there are still commissions from agencies that want to guarantee a picture to go with a story so you can still make a living.  You just need to communicate with the right people.

I've always had a knack of somehow being in the right place at the right time when it comes to taking pictures of famous people so I believe this can be something that I need to keep plugging away at and eventually it will come good.

I've not given up hope, I'm still plugging away.  You'll be pleased to know last night I splashed out on a pizza, Dominos is just around the corner from me.  It was tasty and I still have some left.

Oh and a few weeks ago I met a Japanese guy who had never heard of Transformers.  Who weird is that, I thought everyone knew about Transformers!

The Book of Jarvis

I'm starting my own religion, who's in?  You can do whatever you like as long as you don't go hurting other people, that's the only rule.  Don't ask me to define that, it's a religious text, it's supposed to be open to interpretation.

If you want to have sex with someone of any gender that you've just met while placing a bet and eating a carrot then who am I to say that's wrong?

The only rule is that you don't use physical force of any kind towards other people at any time, unless as a last resort, and you certainly can't do it in the name of the Book of Jarvis, that will go against the words within the Book of Jarvis.

Any person can live their lives in any way they like which is fine, don't attack them in the name of the Book of Jarvis, that's my only rule.  How you live your life in other ways is up to you, I would hope that you would have the decency not to steal, not to badger another bloke's wife unless they've mutually separated, not to gamble unless you can afford it, basically just try to be an all round decent person.

I can't guarantee that you'll be allowed into the Kingdom of Jarvis when you die, it depends who I've got round at the time, space may be at a premium.

There is no Jarvis Land that is yours by right just because of your religious beliefs, settle wherever you like and just try to give others enough space so that they can live as well.  In fact what I would prefer is that everyone had an equal share of land, nothing too much.  Just as long as everyone has enough room for their families to live in peace, maybe grow a few crops and access to some clean drinking water then it's good.

As for creationism and how we all got here the theory on this is ever changing.  At the time of writing the Universe is 13.8 billion years old, is massive (like 87 billion light years across or something) and it started from nothing.  We don't know how it started.  Don't question me, these are the words of the Book of Jarvis.

Understanding the birth of universe is best defined like this.  Some of you have heard my theory on this before.

6,000 years ago man invented the wheel, there was a time in man's evolution where we hadn't yet quite achieved the intelligence to invent the wheel, 500,000 years ago, maybe?  This is where we are.  We don't quite have the intelligence to understand the creation of the universe, I happen to think we'll get there though.

I think that's it really, don't hurt others unless absolutely necessary in order to defend oneself or those too weak to defend themselves when an oppressor is using unnecessarily excessive force, nothing is yours just because of religious entitlement and I don't claim to have any of the answers on why humans have two legs but dogs get to have four.

Also you can wear what you like or nothing at all, it's up to you.

Oh and my birthday, 23 of September, is a religious holiday for all followers of the Book of Jarvis.

Threading the needle

Wednesday was kind of D-Day for me in more ways than one.  

First of all it was the day that I was finally going to get my NIE number, secondly it was the day I was told to come back as an Irish bar made a decision about employing me.

I made my way to the office to get my NIE number, waited patiently and when I got to speak to the woman, in Spanish, she told me I didn't have the right documents, in Spanish.  She gave me some paperwork that I'm doing a rather good job of translating myself.  It tells me what I need.  I do feel like I've made progress.

I left there devastated and angry.  I'm pissed off at my landlord refusing to meet me in the middle and provide me with the required documents.  I have options with regard to the NIE number so watch this space.

I made my way to the Irish bar looking for good news, nothing yet, the manager spoke with the owner and they're not employing anyone until the end of September.  The rugby World Cup starts in the middle of September so I'm going to keep in regular contact with them until then.

On Sunday a friend on Twitter gave me a link to a English speaking website that covers Spanish football.  They're looking for writers.  I've applied, had a chat over email, written an article and I've been accepted.

I will now be reporting on the goings on of FC Barcelona, the games, the transfers and any other stories surrounding the club.

This is the big bit, they're sorting out press accreditation for me.  I'll have access to the Camp Nou on match days, reporting on their games and on what I see.

I've mentioned that I'm a photographer and that I could possibly do both the match reports and photography of the games, they're looking into that for me.

We haven't discussed expenses but they were mentioned in the job description.  If they want me to travel all over Spain and indeed Europe covering Barcelona then I believe they're going to pay my expenses.  If they're not then they're going to need to wait until I'm making some decent money.

The downer is that at first I won't be getting paid, I need to prove that my stories can get website hits and I need to be doing it for long enough.

As things stand I can't afford to stay here throughout September.  I need more money.

I'm looking at that, I'm going to set up a Crowdfunding page to see if I can make this work.  Help on doing that would be handy.

Imagine taking pictures every week of Messi et el?  Build up a decent collection and sell them on.  That would make me enough money to live here, just supplying pictures to photography agencies.  Then if I can carry on the reporting long enough I'll be getting paid.

Plus with this I'll be able to get the paperwork sorted that has so far eluded me.

Last week some people were begging me to come home back to the UK.  I said I wanted to give it one more month and try to stay here throughout September and return back to the UK having succeeded or failed in October.  Obviously if it is me having succeeded then it'll only be a short break.

If I do return home at the beginning of September, I'd need to leave here on September 1st, then the flight will be about £100, if I leave here at the beginning of October it'll be about £30.  

If people were queuing up to lend me the cash to pay for my flight then that's a few hundred quid, I could pay my rent and book my flight at the beginning of October now.  

Every penny will be paid back so if you were looking to lend me the money for the plane home then get in touch.

I don't have enough money to live on but I'm taking pictures of the best team in the world, honestly, my life.

I've also written a script if you want to read it and give me your opinions then get in touch.

Premier League Twitter Hashtags

I'm on one of my rants!

Anyone that uses Twitter and follows the world of football will have surely seen the new franchised "Premier League Twitter hashtags".  No?  I have, they're annoying. Here's why.

First of all I need to start by explaining what hashtags are for anyone that doesn't know.  Basically if you put a hash # in front of an acronym, a word or any any formation of letters on Twitter it creates a hashtag.  So if I was to do #Paul that would create a hashtag, it's basically a way for you to create a code, like a sort of computer language. If you then click the hashtag '#Paul' then it will take you through to a page where it will display a page in chronological order, newest at the top, of everyone else who has written that hashtag and will display those tweets.  It has to be exactly right though, any mistakes like #Paiul and it will take you somewhere different.

Football clubs have been using the hashtags to display news to their fans who can then repeat those hashtags and display their messages to anyone looking up that hashtag.  Potentially millions of people could be looking at that hashtag and then read your tweet but chances are if millions of people are looking it up then millions of people will be tweeting it so your tweet will just get lost.  The people with the most followers will rise to the top so it won't help your chances.

During major tournaments like the World Cup or Olympics hashtags will have badges after them.  So for example during the World Cup the hashtag for England, #ENG, will have a little St George's flag at the end of it, a clever touch from Twitter.  Before I thought this was just a little bit harmless fun but now I realise it's been taken to the next level.

Someone, presumably at the Premier League, has put forward a motion that the hashtags for each of the PL clubs should have their club badges at the end of the tag.  So Manchester United's hashtag, #MUFC, now has the Manchester United club badge after it. That's fine, but what about other people that want to use the #MUFC?  Maidstone United, for example?  Being the most self righteous club in the history of football won't get you very far now, will it Maidstone?  I think this is slightly unfair, in fact I think it's grossly unfair.  

The League and the clubs have basically franchised the alphabet.

What if there are a small band of people who want to use, say #EFC (Everton), as their way of talking, tagging or whatever an event or something taking place?  Do they have to put up with having an Everton badge after their hashtag?

People will say well they should come up with another hashtag then, shouldn't they?  Well no, actually, they shouldn't.  If the Premier League wants to do this they should come up with more creative hashtags than those that anyone is likely to use.

To be fair some of them are fairly creative and fine.  To use Arsenal's hashtag, for example, you need to use #Arsenal, I'd possibly prefer it personally if it were #ArsenalFC like Southampton have done with #SaintsFC.  Swansea, although they've tried to be creative, is actually the worst.  They've gone with #Swans.  Yeah, good one, so anyone taking their kids to the lake to feed some swans and then wanting to display the pictures on Twitter will use the hashtag #Swans will now have a Swansea City badge, something they probably don't want, in their tweet.  They could have gone with #SwansCFC, Swansea City FC.

I think the way around this is we start up our own campaign.  Something like #GiveUsOurCharactersBack and we use the Hashtag whenever there's a big game on. So say if Manchester United are playing Liverpool the tweet could go something like this. "#GiveUsOurChartactersBack #MUFC #LFC Here's my dinner" and then post a picture of your dinner, or whatever, something completely unrelated to either club.  If this had enough people following it fans of these clubs will be drawn away from using that hashtag and towards using something more specific to their club.

I'm all for clubs having their badges after their hashtag, look how far we've moved on in 30 years since MS Dos but I think clubs need to be a little bit more creative than just the four letter code which happens to be the initials of their club.

Politics (Not boring)

I've been hearing a lot about the Labour Party leadership race.  It won't surprise any of you to hear that I'm delighted that fellow socialist Jeremy Corbyn appears to be out on top.  However it might surprise some of you to hear that there are many Tory party voters who are also delighted by this news.  The reason for this is because they deem Corbyn as being unelectable by the wider public.

I think there is something going on here, I think the Tories are scared of Corbyn and this is their defence mechanism, to make fun of him and Labour.  When your policies are crap and you've finally got someone in opposition who is shouting from the rooftops that we should spend more money on the NHS than saving a bank then you're going to be worried.

The funny thing is the response of Corbyn's "Tory lite" co-candidates.  They're all running scared of him as well.  Because he has the audacity to properly oppose the Tories.  Austerity is the policy that will define this generation, we need someone that will properly oppose it.

People think immigration is the policy that will define this generation but that's actually the policy that thinks it defines every generation but doesn't define any of them.

The government are pushing through their austerity policies so we need an opposition to that and we need someone that gives those people who don't want austerity a voice.  Labour currently don't and herein lies the problem with politics in the UK and many countries around the world.

Traditionally we had our parties who stood for their various classes and sections of society, some parties like Labour stood for a number of unions etc...

Now you have traditional Labour voters who will still only vote Labour because they're stuck in that mindset, Tories the same, Lib Dems etc. We have various parties that come along as knock off forgeries of "the big three", they'll attract a few but we're only ever looking at Labour or Tories being the major party in government.  I say major party as obviously in the last government we had a coalition between the LD and Tories, the latter were clearly running the show.

Herein is where I think the problem lies and this is why Corbyn's popularity in the leadership race is so interesting.

This may seem to be slightly conspiracy theorist but I don't think it matters who gets into the power, I think the decision has already been made.

Labour are no longer the Labour of old, they're slightly to the left of what the Tories are, who, by the way, are not quite as conservative as they used to be and neither party quite does exactly what it says on the tin anymore.  Isn't it time we did away with the old party system and listened to what the people really think?  More on this later.

On Wednesday evening I heard on the radio a guy, a devout Tory voter who was running a campaign backing Corbyn.  As I said earlier the reason for this is because the Tories will deem him as unelectable and therefore they're a shoe in for victory in the next election.

This, as I said earlier is the problem with politics in the UK.  No wonder so many people are turned off by politics if there are a large number of people have already decided who they're voting for five years before the election takes place.

I don't even know what I'm having for dinner tomorrow (chortle) let alone who I'm voting for in five years time.  The guy I heard on the radio was delighted at receiving such media attention, he'd registered three times as a member of the Labour Party so that he could vote for Corbyn.  Two of the registrations came under him, he used his real name for the first and his middle name for the second.  The third registration came under his wive's name so I guess he could just say it's her that voted.

It'd be interesting if you tried a similar thing with the Tory party.  You could put forward a policy where it was outlawed for party members to snort coke off a prostitutes body but then we'd be looking for a new chancellor of the exchequer.

The question needs to be asked is if this is legal.  Would anyone know for sure, I'd be interested to know.  But now more to my point.

Isn't the old party system old and outdated?  It's even worse in the States, they only have two parties.  Is that the law or can they have more?  Can they have say five parties/candidates but no-one bothers because they know they won't get any votes to make it worth doing? In their General Election you vote for the person you want to run the country, nothing else matters.

Back to the UK this is what I think we should do.

First off when we have a general election we're actually having two elections.  We should be only having one but we actually have two.  The one we should be having is who you elect as your MP, the additional one that we shouldn't be having is we elect who we want as PM.  There's a little bit of a conflict going on here, what if I like what my Labour candidate is saying but I want the Greens in as a party?  You can reverse that scenario if you like but I feel the Greens being I power is just as realistic as Labour right now so does it matter?

Those two votes should be split for a start.  You vote for who you want as your MP on one card and on the other you vote for who you want as "the party in power".

Now here's what I think we should do with the party system.  The person who wants to be say PM should build his team from the ground up.  This is the best way of finding out what each candidate wants.  

They start advertising and then hiring the people they want to run each of the government departments.  I say "hiring" but the money would come out of the treasury and they wouldn't be paid until they got into power and started working for the electorate.

I think the person who is Health Secretary should have a history in health, the Education Secretary should have a history in in education etc.  I'm pretty sure you could work this down to every government department although I do seem to be hearing a new previously unheard of government department every week but I reckon it could work, or at least could be looked at.

I can see a lot of people saying "but wouldn't that mean that the person that ran a campaign would need to be rich?" What, opposed to now, you mean?

Anyway no, the money could say come from the treasury.  You appeal to them, tell them how much you'd need, show them your workings out etc, maybe receive sponsorship but that would lead to corruption possibly?

You choose who you want in your cabinet and then with them you write your manifesto.  Your MP has no allegiance to the party in power so has no reason to cover up any indescrepencies but they also have no affiliation to anyone else so no reason not to work with them, I see that side of things work.  Obviously your MP would have his own opinions on way things should be done so may be swaying things and be more responsive to one party over another but that should be too much of a problem.

This is all beer mat politics, it's something I've thought about for a while but not shared too widely.  No doubt there are gaping holes but it was going through my mind and so I thought I'd share it.

What do people think?  Leave a comment below, or Twitter, Facebook, graffiti my front door......

At least I'm blogging more

I've always had a bit of a strange relationship with money, compared to normal people. It seems to be the only thing you can't ask other people for, out of pride.  I'm asking for people to pay to give me a chance to build my future.  I'm in a really happy place right now.  I'm living somewhere I love, I'm finding a lot out about myself, I just need to make this last as long as I possibly can so that I can maintain my happiness.

Imagine this.  There are two billionaires walking through the desert.  One of the billionaires has a load of water, more than he needs, he'll complete the journey without any problem and has enough water for the both of them.  However the other billionaire hasn't got any water.  They've got a long way to go, say about three weeks.  The billionaire without any water asks his friend if he can have some of his water.  Obviously offering him money is a useless task, they're both billionaires but he does say to him "Look, there is nothing I can offer you that you can't get yourself, all I'm asking for is this chance to survive.  If you give me this and we make it out of the desert safely then if whenever you need anything just ask me and if I can help I will".

Would you not ask for water if you needed it, out of pride?  Okay, so I should have planed this a little better maybe.  Ever since I got the travel bug all I've done is plan trips and see how much it costs to do them, I plan and plan and plan without ever doing anything.  I had to just remove the plaster from the wound that was my life and do it.

I guess what I'm saying is that money does not define us, the amount of money we have in our bank does not define us.  Possessions do not define us.  What does define us is spirit, character and personality.  There used to be a time when that was all you needed to get on in life, now you need a university degree just to get a £20,000 a year job in central London.

I'm not in that bad a position.  As I write this one of the many jobs I've applied for could be emailing me to offer me something, then it's done, it's that simple.  One job market opens up in September, Irish bars.  That was previously closed to me but now I have a chance of getting a job in one of those.  I know of one bar where there are two people leaving in a week or two and in other I get one rather well with the owner.  Do I not stay here because one of them may not come off?

I've played it safe for 33 years, where exactly has that got me?  It's not even as if I'm not safe, I'm in Barcelona, not Beirut! I'm first running out of places beginning with B that are slightly on edge and dangerous to live in with no money that I can compare with Barcelona.

It may surprise some of you but I have, on occasion, made my own decisions in life. No, really, honestly, it's true.  I evaluate the risk and I'll weigh up the options and see how badly things will effect me depending on what I choose to do.  It hasn't done me too badly so while I do appreciate the love and advice if I say okay, no problem, thanks for telling me what you think but I'm still going to go through with this then please don't accuse me of acting like a child just because I had the gall to ignore your marvellous, genius, must always be listened to advice, I am a man of almost 33 years of age. I'm also a bright, intelligent, clever, creative individual who has his own mind, will and determination to achieve his dreams and not just play things safely because that's what society tells him he has to do.

This is happening and just because I don't listen to what you tell me to do doesn't mean that I don't appreciate it, if you want to help find other ways, shouting your opinion at me on repeat clearly doesn't have an effect.  Neither does sharing my blog with others and using it to take the piss, although I appreciate it being shared.

We're reminded on a daily basis how immigrants have travelled thousands of miles across over land and sea in foreign lands where they can't speak the language and have no money and you think I'll have trouble living slightly outside of my comfort zone?  How patronising....

I read one PoV the other day that said I was in the deep pits of depression.  For anyone that doesn't know I spent half of last year off sick from work for stress and depression. My work sorted out some counselling for me an this commenced in March and ended in May.  My counsellor and me obviously spoke at great length about my mental state but the conclusion was that the reason for my depression was that I had things that I wanted to do and because I wasn't doing them this lead to my depression.

The reason I don't do stuff is because I'm always told to play it safe, don't leave your comfort zone, save up and then do it, you can't do that, it's not safe.  No ta, I'd rather just go off and do it thanks.

You have all done me a favour though, helping me realise this.  I'm going to be doing this more, get used to it.  

I was still awake at 3:30 this morning.  Sorry if this doesn't fit in with you feel I should or shouldn't be doing.  Suddenly the power went out in the flat.  You don't know darkness until you see darkness like that, I had no light coming from anywhere.  I got a few things together and decided to go for a walk, yes at 3:30am.  

I decided to make my way half way up Mount Tibidabo where I sat and watched the sun rise, it was beautiful. At 7:00am I got up and went home.

Nothing too dangerous, a little bit spontaneous, a little bit weird and out there but those were all things that made me want to do it more.

The only thing that prevents us from doing what we want to do is us

Shortly after my last blog I was getting messages of support. My sister sent me some money and told me to come home.  I also got an email from my parents telling me to come home and I know that behind the messages of support there will be people thinking 'he should just come home'.

Come home to what?  Are the streets of Gravesend suddenly paved with gold?  I won't be able to claim any benefits as it is within six months of me handing in my resignation.  That's basing my knowledge on what it was under a Labour government, a Tory government isn't going to give me any money, I don't own a bank.

Currency is one thing but having no euros also equates to having no pounds sterling, believe me, I've checked.

Okay so someone might have a spare room for me to stay in while I get a job, I can then move into to somewhere else and start paying my way but then what?  I'll be earning just about enough to live on and all the while wishing I was still in Barcelona.

For crying out loud, I'm living in Barcelona, not Baghdad, it's a western city.

The thing that prevents me from succeeding is fear, if I have no fear of failure then I can't lose, going back to the UK is failing, staying in Barcelona and doing anything else is not.

It'll be much better when I get my phone and I'll be able to talk to some of you.  It sounds like you could do with it more than I could.

Still no further on that.  Three won't send me the phone for nothing, despite the money I spend with them, despite the fact I can't get service on my iPad and despite that fact they've been fucking me around for over a month with the "we'll email you" and then the "we can't sort this out over email" nonsense.  I'm just going to stop the direct debit to them so they'll lose out more in the long run, smart move Three.

This is what I'm going to do.  I planned to return to/visit the UK at the beginning of October anyway, even if I'd set up a life in Barcelona.

That's still on.  I'm going to give myself between now and then to find work, if it happens then I'll work in how I can visit the UK for a short holiday, if it doesn't then I can just stay in the UK and plan what to do.  I think three months is enough time to say I gave it a good go and should shield me from the stick from the people who would love to do something like this but would never have the guts to, some of whom still live with their parents.

Between now and then I'm going to need two things from people.

1 Please share this blog.  I get paid for allowing adverts on my page.  At the moment I'm not earning nearly enough but that could change.  What if you're friends on Facebook with someone you haven't seen for years that is looking for a travel writer and likes my style.  I'm not saying anyone has to share it, I'm sure people have their reasons not to but if the only reason is "I'm not sharing it, there's no point" then you might as well share it.  Share, retweet and post anywhere you like.

2 The subject I hate and have tried to avoid, money!  I'm thinking about setting up a crowd funding page with the target of about £500.  That would pay for my rent, possibly a new phone and my flight back to the UK plus my living costs.  I have no idea about how to go about this.  Any advice would be great.

I could have had money.  At my place of work I was on my final written warning, I went sick at the end of April and on that occasion I didn't even ring them, I ignored all of their calls and texts for half the day when I finally let them know that I wasn't at the bottom of a river.  I then went sick for two weeks in the middle of May.

They were trying to arrange me an Atos referral which means a company assess you to see how fit you are for work.  I was ten minutes late for this (bloody SouthEastern!!) and the woman didn't stick around so it didn't take place.  Four days later I handed in my resignation and four weeks later was my last day.

If I had stayed I would have had the Atos referral, had an attendance review meeting where I would probably have lost my job.  However they can't just get rid of you without giving you some money.  I reckon I would have at least got a few grand, anything up to about £5,000 plus my wages.

Should I have done that just so that I could have got more money?  What about Katie Hopkins, this vermin looks at how to be as controversial as possible just so people get outraged and complain thus sharing her words.  Should I go down that road just for cash?  No thanks, I'd rather focus on being the best person I can be and just hope that rubs off on others.

Now for the good news (if you're still here).

I do have a voluntary position working for a company that does projects bringing people from different communities together.  They've been looking for a photographer for a while. Meeting new people and showcasing my talents is the best way of getting a job.  Plus depending on how much interest the project I'm working on gets I could get paid.  I can also work this around my job when I get one.

September is when the Irish bars start employing and for that you don't need to speak Spanish.  I'll have the NIE number by then and I'll be able to start immediately, a massive plus.