The only thing that prevents us from doing what we want to do is us

Shortly after my last blog I was getting messages of support. My sister sent me some money and told me to come home.  I also got an email from my parents telling me to come home and I know that behind the messages of support there will be people thinking 'he should just come home'.

Come home to what?  Are the streets of Gravesend suddenly paved with gold?  I won't be able to claim any benefits as it is within six months of me handing in my resignation.  That's basing my knowledge on what it was under a Labour government, a Tory government isn't going to give me any money, I don't own a bank.

Currency is one thing but having no euros also equates to having no pounds sterling, believe me, I've checked.

Okay so someone might have a spare room for me to stay in while I get a job, I can then move into to somewhere else and start paying my way but then what?  I'll be earning just about enough to live on and all the while wishing I was still in Barcelona.

For crying out loud, I'm living in Barcelona, not Baghdad, it's a western city.

The thing that prevents me from succeeding is fear, if I have no fear of failure then I can't lose, going back to the UK is failing, staying in Barcelona and doing anything else is not.

It'll be much better when I get my phone and I'll be able to talk to some of you.  It sounds like you could do with it more than I could.

Still no further on that.  Three won't send me the phone for nothing, despite the money I spend with them, despite the fact I can't get service on my iPad and despite that fact they've been fucking me around for over a month with the "we'll email you" and then the "we can't sort this out over email" nonsense.  I'm just going to stop the direct debit to them so they'll lose out more in the long run, smart move Three.

This is what I'm going to do.  I planned to return to/visit the UK at the beginning of October anyway, even if I'd set up a life in Barcelona.

That's still on.  I'm going to give myself between now and then to find work, if it happens then I'll work in how I can visit the UK for a short holiday, if it doesn't then I can just stay in the UK and plan what to do.  I think three months is enough time to say I gave it a good go and should shield me from the stick from the people who would love to do something like this but would never have the guts to, some of whom still live with their parents.

Between now and then I'm going to need two things from people.

1 Please share this blog.  I get paid for allowing adverts on my page.  At the moment I'm not earning nearly enough but that could change.  What if you're friends on Facebook with someone you haven't seen for years that is looking for a travel writer and likes my style.  I'm not saying anyone has to share it, I'm sure people have their reasons not to but if the only reason is "I'm not sharing it, there's no point" then you might as well share it.  Share, retweet and post anywhere you like.

2 The subject I hate and have tried to avoid, money!  I'm thinking about setting up a crowd funding page with the target of about £500.  That would pay for my rent, possibly a new phone and my flight back to the UK plus my living costs.  I have no idea about how to go about this.  Any advice would be great.

I could have had money.  At my place of work I was on my final written warning, I went sick at the end of April and on that occasion I didn't even ring them, I ignored all of their calls and texts for half the day when I finally let them know that I wasn't at the bottom of a river.  I then went sick for two weeks in the middle of May.

They were trying to arrange me an Atos referral which means a company assess you to see how fit you are for work.  I was ten minutes late for this (bloody SouthEastern!!) and the woman didn't stick around so it didn't take place.  Four days later I handed in my resignation and four weeks later was my last day.

If I had stayed I would have had the Atos referral, had an attendance review meeting where I would probably have lost my job.  However they can't just get rid of you without giving you some money.  I reckon I would have at least got a few grand, anything up to about £5,000 plus my wages.

Should I have done that just so that I could have got more money?  What about Katie Hopkins, this vermin looks at how to be as controversial as possible just so people get outraged and complain thus sharing her words.  Should I go down that road just for cash?  No thanks, I'd rather focus on being the best person I can be and just hope that rubs off on others.

Now for the good news (if you're still here).

I do have a voluntary position working for a company that does projects bringing people from different communities together.  They've been looking for a photographer for a while. Meeting new people and showcasing my talents is the best way of getting a job.  Plus depending on how much interest the project I'm working on gets I could get paid.  I can also work this around my job when I get one.

September is when the Irish bars start employing and for that you don't need to speak Spanish.  I'll have the NIE number by then and I'll be able to start immediately, a massive plus.