The Book of Jarvis

I'm starting my own religion, who's in?  You can do whatever you like as long as you don't go hurting other people, that's the only rule.  Don't ask me to define that, it's a religious text, it's supposed to be open to interpretation.

If you want to have sex with someone of any gender that you've just met while placing a bet and eating a carrot then who am I to say that's wrong?

The only rule is that you don't use physical force of any kind towards other people at any time, unless as a last resort, and you certainly can't do it in the name of the Book of Jarvis, that will go against the words within the Book of Jarvis.

Any person can live their lives in any way they like which is fine, don't attack them in the name of the Book of Jarvis, that's my only rule.  How you live your life in other ways is up to you, I would hope that you would have the decency not to steal, not to badger another bloke's wife unless they've mutually separated, not to gamble unless you can afford it, basically just try to be an all round decent person.

I can't guarantee that you'll be allowed into the Kingdom of Jarvis when you die, it depends who I've got round at the time, space may be at a premium.

There is no Jarvis Land that is yours by right just because of your religious beliefs, settle wherever you like and just try to give others enough space so that they can live as well.  In fact what I would prefer is that everyone had an equal share of land, nothing too much.  Just as long as everyone has enough room for their families to live in peace, maybe grow a few crops and access to some clean drinking water then it's good.

As for creationism and how we all got here the theory on this is ever changing.  At the time of writing the Universe is 13.8 billion years old, is massive (like 87 billion light years across or something) and it started from nothing.  We don't know how it started.  Don't question me, these are the words of the Book of Jarvis.

Understanding the birth of universe is best defined like this.  Some of you have heard my theory on this before.

6,000 years ago man invented the wheel, there was a time in man's evolution where we hadn't yet quite achieved the intelligence to invent the wheel, 500,000 years ago, maybe?  This is where we are.  We don't quite have the intelligence to understand the creation of the universe, I happen to think we'll get there though.

I think that's it really, don't hurt others unless absolutely necessary in order to defend oneself or those too weak to defend themselves when an oppressor is using unnecessarily excessive force, nothing is yours just because of religious entitlement and I don't claim to have any of the answers on why humans have two legs but dogs get to have four.

Also you can wear what you like or nothing at all, it's up to you.

Oh and my birthday, 23 of September, is a religious holiday for all followers of the Book of Jarvis.