Where is my life going?

I wrote this before I came out here in May.

I've edited it a bit but I've tried to keep it as I originally wrote it as much as possible.

I should have gone to university.  I was too keen to join the work force to buy things for myself.  I should have gone to university, this would have given me time away from home and more importantly my parents whom I love dearly, the last two months has proved that to me.  However you need to make that break away from your family as early as possible.

Obviously they're the people that you love the most and they'll always be there for you but you need to get out and discover, they'll still be there when you get back so just go!

It's not their fault, it's no-ones fault.  I'm the offspring of capitalism, I want things.  I buy books that I never read just because they look nice, I want the latest gadgets and a large collection of Playstation games.

I've lived this existence since I left school, 16 years.

So why am I not happy?

I stayed at home, got a job as quickly as possible so that I could lavish myself with fine things because that's what I thought I should be doing but when I look around at others I see that other people live with very little and yet are happy.

I'm not sure what happiness is but I do have a yearning to travel.

Two things have previously prevented me from doing this, one being that I have too many possessions, how ironic is that, the stuff I've been working so hard to buy is now the very thing possibly preventing me from being happy.

And the second thing is fear.  I'm safe at the moment, I have a steady job, that's dead end and going nowhere but it is safe.

If I leave it all to go travelling will it all go tits up and end in tears? Sorry about the double cliché.

On top of that what if playing it safe is actually the risk? What if I never make that break and then in 20 years time it's too late?

For that reason I've decided to make that break and try for happiness.

At first I was thinking that I'm giving myself some options, I was either going to go and volunteer, probably in India or going and live dirt cheap somewhere in the EU, probably Barcelona, a city that I've loved since I first visited in 1996.  I'm hoping that this break away from my comfortable lifestyle will give me a new perspective.

In the end I chose Barcelona.  I'm on the train now writing this.

I plan to blog whilst away so stay tuned.